Trusting In The Fullness of Forgiveness
Written by Aaron Miller | Pastor of Equipping
Why is forgiveness so important? It seems like an unnecessary question to ask because forgiveness is so self-assumed and built into the Christian life. But let’s press into the answer. Forgiveness is important because we live in a world of conflict and pain. When it comes to forgiveness, there is more at stake than just our emotional health. Our emotional health is one of the blessings of forgiveness, but there is something far more foundational to discover here. The aim of forgiveness is not our personal and emotional health; first and foremost, forgiveness aims to show a watching world something beautiful in our lives that only God produces.
I stand on this premise: Only the forgiven can truly forgive. In other words, if earthly forgiveness is not a part of a person’s life, then Jesus will suggest that a person’s understanding of divine forgiveness is lacking or is in doubt.
“So, if only the forgiven can truly forgive –then the reverse is also true – those who refuse to forgive should question if they truly know what it means to be forgiven.”
If I do my job right in this article, you will feel some tension. In Matthew 18, the teachings of Jesus cause the pendulum of our lives to swing in one direction, a direction that moves away from us, not toward us. So, if there is justice on one side of the room and on the other side, there is mercy –Jesus would have the pendulum of our lives swing toward mercy. There is wisdom in this because mercy is not something naturally embraced when we are wronged. Human nature is bent towards justice (or at least our definition of justice), which isn’t justice in the final analysis. We don’t want justice. We want our pound of flesh.
Forgiveness According to Peter
In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus is in the middle of instructing his disciples on how to deal with sin when Peter asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” The rabbis taught that you could offer forgiveness to someone up to three times but dump them on the fourth offense, so Peter was quite proud of himself for suggesting forgiveness seven times. But Jesus completely eclipsed his notion of generosity. Jesus said to him, “‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven times.” This was not an issue of mathematics. It was an expression of completeness. In other words, in knowing how to forgive, Christ-followers should forgive based on fullness based upon completeness. To further expound on this, Jesus taught a parable.
Forgiveness According to Jesus
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.25 And since he could not pay, the king ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the king of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.”
In the Roman world, the talent was the highest known denomination of currency, and 10,000 was the highest number for which the Greek language had a particular word. As a point of reference, according to historical records, the annual tax revenue that Rome would collect from this region –Judea, Samaria, and Galilee – was about 1,000 talents. So, for a poor servant to owe 10,000 talents would have been an astonishing debt in that world and impossible to pay. The servant would have been doomed if it had not been for the king’s mercy.
As Jesus develops the parable, he reveals that the servant did not respond in like manner as his king when it came to forgiving the debt of another poor man of a far more manageable size. The poor man owed him 100 denarii which was still a large sum of money and a real offense if unpaid, but was nowhere near the amount the servant had been forgiven by his king. And unlike his king, the servant chokes the poor man and throws him in prison. The pendulum of his life swung towards his sense of justice. He received his pound of flesh.
When the report came to the king, he was moved to anger because in a world of kings and kingdoms, kings set the standard. The mercy of kings informs the mercy of servants, but the king’s mercy had been spurned. Therefore, Jesus concluded the parable with this sobering teaching, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Parables can be dangerous. It is very easy to misunderstand or misrepresent their meaning. This is not an article about parables, but when Jesus explained his parables to his disciples, he illuminated and illustrated crucial spiritual truths. Here are a few from this parable.
Firstly, God always forgives those who repent and believe. Always. So too, those who have been forgiven by God must also forgive those who sin against them. Always. Period. No matter what.
Secondly, the implicit promise of the parable is that God forgives unimaginable amounts of sin. Grace is receiving that which we don’t deserve, and mercy is not receiving that which we do deserve.
Thirdly, the implicit warning of the parable is if you have been forgiven, you must also forgive. To put it more explicitly, those unwilling or unable to forgive should fear for their salvation.
This parable is not teaching salvation by works. Jesus is not saying that your salvation is dependent upon you forgiving others.
“Rather he is saying that those who have received grace are characterized by a willingness to give grace to others.”
Quacking like a duck will not make you a duck. But here’s the thing: ducks do quack. Forgiving others does not make you a Christian, but Christians do forgive.
What exactly is forgiveness? If I sin against you, and you, being a mature believer, approach me and say, “I forgive you.” What does this do for me? Forgive me, don’t forgive me. What is the difference? Your forgiveness could simply be reduced to religious sentimentality. Honestly, it is of no advantage to me. Unless of course, you had the leverage of power over me; like a judge in a courtroom or a king such as the one in Matthew 18. In circumstances that involve the leverage of power, forgiveness means a great deal. But what if there is no such leverage? A definition is needed. However, we will need more than just one because forgiveness looks different depending on the people and the circumstances.
Conditional Forgiveness between Two Christ-Followers
Remember, forgiveness experienced between two Christ-followers is informed by God’s forgiveness of them as his children. So, what do we know about God’s forgiveness?
God’s forgiveness is gracious: It is not free in terms of cost. It cost the murdered Son of God, but it is freely given to us. Therefore, our forgiveness should be graciously and freely given.
God’s forgiveness is a commitment: When God forgives those coming to Christ, He makes a commitment to pardon them from their sin which is no longer counted against them. Therefore, our forgiveness should be a commitment. Ken Sande says, “When a Christ-follower forgives another repentant Christ-follower, you implicitly make the following promises:
I will not dwell on this incident.
I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
I will not talk to others about this incident.
I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”
He goes on to say, “By making and keeping these promises, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and your offender. You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others.”
God’s forgiveness is conditional: Only those who repent and have saving faith are forgiven. The way in which God forgives Christ-followers should be the way Christ-followers forgive each other. Now, this is where it gets confusing: while God’s forgiveness is conditional, our forgiveness of one another is both conditional and unconditional.
It is conditional in that the Bible teaches that for two believers, forgiveness is offered only when two believers are repentant. And since God’s standard of forgiveness is only offered through repentance, it would follow that our forgiveness of one another should also take place only through repentance. See the “if, then” statements in Luke 17:3-4: “Pay attention to yourselves! If you brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent’, you must forgive him.”
Unconditional Forgiveness When There is No Repentance
In God’s ideal economy when two Christ followers have sin come between them, forgiveness follows repentance because they go hand in hand, they are two sides of the same coin. However, because of sin, the ideal is not always achieved, and so we turn to God’s grace.
“So then, even when someone does not repent, we forgive them unconditionally, though we wish we could have experienced the joy that comes only through repentance.”
Brace yourself. What does forgiveness look like for those who have been injured? Firstly, we should establish what it is not: Forgiveness does not mean they cannot be angry at what happened. Forgiveness does not mean they cannot desire justice. Forgiveness does not mean that the consequences no longer apply to the wicked actions taken against them. It does not mean they have to face the person who attacked and/or injured them. And sadly, it does not mean the process of healing will happen in a short amount of time.
Here is what it does mean:
Romans 12:17-21 “Repay no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Forgiveness towards someone who is unrepentant, or worse someone who has committed a heinous crime against you, means you don’t go after your pound of flesh. It means that when it comes to the pendulum swing of your life, you swing towards mercy, not justice. Again, that does not mean you can’t desire justice or that you can’t seek justice through the proper channels; rather, it means you don’t take justice into your own hands. Vengeance belongs to God because He is infinitely more capable and righteous in his anger over sin. Forgiveness for the unrepentant is not about interacting with that person. It is, however, about interacting with God daily, demonstrating dependence upon Him, and trusting that he will deliver his justice in his time. Friends, God’s justice is a promise. A promise that is usually spread out in installments, delivered in hidden and unseen ways. Trust the Lord! He can care for the broken pieces of your heart better than you can.
Forgiveness is a rhythm we get to embrace as God’s children. Its power is unparalleled because its foundation is God himself who will repay what is evil and visit his justice upon every form of wickedness. Forgiveness reminds us of our new nature in Christ, and in its activity, we experience the depths and beauty of God’s love, mercy, and grace.