Finishing Well as Grandparents in an Age of Uncertainty
Written by Wayne Foglesong | Elder
For such a time as this, the days in which we now live are very complex and challenging when there are those who “call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight; who justify the wicked for a bribe, and take away the rights of the one who are in the right.” (Isaiah 5:20-23) Sound familiar?
My wife Linda and I are the grandparents of soon-to-be nine grandchildren. With all of those kids bound up in our lives, we freely admit that we are not the perfect grandparents, but like all of you, we are a work in progress as we strive to impact the lives of these children with the legacy of a Godly heritage.
Some may wonder, as a grandparent, what role do you play in the lives of your grandchildren, especially during these times which are not exclusive from the past, but very evident for us today? Some have said that in our golden years we should hit the road, experience things we have never seen or done before, and relax and enjoy ourselves while we can. We get it, that experiencing new adventures and taking some time to ourselves is not a bad thing, but not our ultimate priority!
That said, there are more important roles that we play.
“As grandparents, we have the opportunity, and we say the responsibility, to make an impact and difference in the lives of our grandchildren by leaving them with a ‘heritage’ of biblical faithfulness and devotion to the things of Christ.”
Dr. Josh Mulvihill, in his book Biblical Grandparenting, reminds us that our role as grandparents is best described in the term “heritage.” His research has shown “that grandparents are strategically placed to be transmitters of heritage.” For believing grandparents, we have a legacy of “inherited faith,” that is from the Lord, to impart to our grandchildren. This should never be taken for granted, and this should be used to guide, influence, and model the legacy of our faith. Carl Muller, author of Unconverted Sons and Daughters: Hope for Hurting Parents, says, “Christ-following grandparents play a central and significant role in the salvation of their grandchildren.” With that said, we must guard ourselves from assuming that grandchildren will come to saving faith in Christ. That is the work of the Holy Spirit, and our job as modelers of saving faith is to point them towards Christ.
However, in the days that we now live (Acts 17) and the culture that we’re experiencing every day (Isaiah 5:22-23), there are many misleading messages about our roles and responsibilities. It is not our responsibility to spoil our grandchildren, to be their companions, or to indulge their every whim.
If you were to ask us what we are most concerned about in the lives of our grandchildren, it would be the condition of their hearts, the core of their being. Isaiah 66:1-2 states, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool; what is the house that you would build for me, and what is the place of my rest? All these things my hand has made, and so all these things came to be, declares the Lord. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.’” God is looking for a heart to dwell in, a heart that is tender and broken, not one conformed with the things of the world or religion. God is looking to dwell in the heart of a person who looks and takes His word seriously.
Thus, as grandparents, a major priority is to look at the hearts of our grandchildren and teach the things of God to them. Psalm 78:1-8 exemplifies this. “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell the coming generation the glorious deed of the Lord and his might, and the wonders he has done. He established testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to each to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation who heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.”
What we find in that passage is an invitation to be doers and hearers of God’s word and to teach and model the things of God, our spiritual heritage, from one generation to the next.
“We want to ensure that our grandchildren and future generations know and love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.”
Psalm 78 also perpetuates the command in verse 7 for all generations to trust God by setting their hope on Him; to remember by not forgetting the works of God; and to obey by keeping His commandments.
Paul Brown, Pastor of the Bridge, says “that the intentionality of our grandparenting is all about discipling future generations to know, love, obey and serve God, and again as grandparents to model in trusting, teaching and training our grandchildren for their future generations.”
We are called as grandparents to encourage parents, our children and their spouses, in their raising of their own children through prayer and hopefully passing on sound wisdom gleaned throughout life. We are never called to replace our children as parents, though these situations do exist, but to support them in their journey.
In closing, I want to remind you that grandchildren are a gift! Proverbs 17:6 says, “grandchildren are a crown of the aged.” Ask yourself, how do you view your grandchildren? Do you see them as a burden or a blessing? In the context of Proverbs 17:6, God speaks of grandchildren like a crown and blessing, which bestows on them the high value of being made in the image and likeness of God for His glory. This truth reinforces the unmatched honor that we have as participants in their lives.
No matter who our grandchildren are or how they act, God calls us to look at their hearts, the very thing that will determine their eternal future! Remember, God has received each one of us patiently, graciously, with unconditional love, the same way we are to receive our grandchildren. Choose wisely, and be an instrument of God’s amazing love to make an impact in the lives of your grandchildren, and pray that it will carry on from one generation to the next.